yes i said it i'm a fucking idiot and i cant do simple algebra

i hate myself and i hate who i am

now most of you may be asking why

well i'll tell you

i am only here to exist and no matter how hard i try i cant make people happy

but i try so hard to make them happpy that i hurt myself in the process

and right now i cant eat anything i havent been able to eat for almost a week now

i cant digest food

if i eat i puke it back up and hour later

my medication makes me into a zomby
and i hate it
but the only reason i like to take it is cause i am actually trying to get good grades right now and all i can do when i'm on those meds is focus

i'm slowly pushing a hell of alot of people away right now and the one person i really like i'm trying to push away but he wont go away

and as awesome as that is it is really hard for me to trust people

especially guys

and i may be driving away someone that might actually make me ahappy and god forbid that happen

hence the title

hello, i'm not heard from much on here but i have some info to update you on.

i have come to a few realizations about myself.

one of which is that i have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. and that i am

i'm actually mentally and emotionally ready to choose my carrier
as well as make the choice that will permanently mark my body(get a tattoo)


i have had 2 sucessfull relationships this year
marisa and my current one scott
me and marisa are still close firends
we went out for a month
the reason why this was sucessful was cause we are still friends


another realization is that i am more able to be damaged than repaired.

but my friends that keep their promises are still my closest friends

i know this is giberish to alot of you. but i have some poetry that i have to post on here and some lyrics so tell me what you think
i am now going out with this great guy scott.
(end)

.:.Español.:.

Las reglas:

Las primeras diez personas en comentar en este journal me tendrán dando un paseo por sus galerías y seleccionando mis 3 obras favoritas de las mismas y siendo posteadas en este mismo journal.
A cambio de esto, ustedes deberan hacer un journal como éste. Es una manera divertida de apreciar el trabajo de otros.

.:.English.:.

The rules
The first ten people who reply to this journal and tell me that they want a spot will have me go through their gallery and pick my three favourite deviations, which in turn will be featured in this journal.
In return you'll have to post a journal like this. It is a funny way to appreciate others work.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:

» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:

» Personality:
» Art:
» Comments:
» Character Designs:

WHAT ABOUT US:

» Who are you?
» Are we friends?
» When and how did we meet?
» How have I affected you?
» What do you think of me?
» What's the fondest memory you have of me?
» How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
» Have I ever hurt you?
» Would you hug me?
» Are we close?
» Emotionally, what stands out?
» Do you wish I was cooler?
» Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
» Am I loveable?
» How long have you known me?
» Describe me in one word.
» What was your first impression?
» Do you still think that way about me now?
» What do you think my weakness is?
» Do you think I'll get married?
» What about me makes you happy?
» What about me makes you sad?
» What reminds you of me?
» What's something you would change about me?
» How well do you know me?
» Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
» Do you think I would kill someone?
» Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

It seems I've been Tagged!

If you know me and are reading this, expect to get tagged also.

Here are the rules:

1. Post these rules

2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves

3. Tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts

4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named

5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged


Here we go:

1. i'm BI

2. both of my parents and my sister and her bf and a lot of my friends smoke and i hate it and they do it around me but i have given up on trying to get them to cut it down of stop

3. i love to run around in the rain (and i want to kiss someone in the rain too)

4. i am a poet

5. i actually love school

6. :Harcaaj: is my bf

7. i have adhd and i love it

8. i have stage fright

-------------------------------------------------------
:harcaaj:
:stik-trooper:
:Raveraiser:
:KuriKagome:
: XxKurusai-chanxX:
:WolfGomez:
:ffx2andkhgamer:
:Firefox31Kitsune: